When the art and science of dentistry are reduced down to primarily being about production and code mining, its spiritual dimension is easily lost. Spend a few minutes on some dental social media sites, and you will quickly see this truth in black and white. 

Dr. L.D. Pankey warned us about this problem.

The key to becoming a truly successful professional isn’t just about mastering the technical skills and endlessly chasing after the siren songs of our materialistic culture. Such narrow pursuits are ultimately hollow and do not represent enough to carry us through life as a fully developed person. And they do not represent enough to carry us through life’s inevitable tragedies and periods of significant suffering.  

Creating a habit of connecting with our patients in deeply meaningful ways, helps us to form the emotional antibodies we will need to carry us through the inevitable not-so-good times, the times when all the money and material possessions in the world can’t solve our problem. These are the times when only love, support, and reciprocated empathy can start the process of healing our wounds. 

Never forget this central truth.

Chasing after the next new and shiny object may not be the best solution for our challenging situation today. The best solution may very well be sitting right in front of us in the form of a deeply caring patient.
 

L.D. Pankey, when talking about the assimilation of knowledge would say, “First you get it in your hands, then your head, and finally in your heart,” meaning objective understanding and competence was only a step in becoming a complete dentist. 
 
This, of course, was a hard message to hear as a young clinician, because after rapidly proceeding through Pete Dawson’s curriculum, purchasing three Denar articulators, and then going on to The Pankey Institute, I felt that I was ready to start practicing as a “comprehensive dentist.” 
 
But unfortunately, most of my patients and the citizens of my berg didn’t get the memo. Most of them just looked at me suspiciously, while others left. Fortunately, a few of them allowed me to perform my “complete exam,” collect study models and take 35mm slide photography. And then, I’d spend hours waxing up cases, and preparing a thorough written report containing all of my findings and recommendations. Finally, I’d make  a “case presentation” appointment and unveil the brilliance of my understanding of complete dentistry–about which I was sure the patient would be impressed and then have no alternative but to say “yes” to my plan for them.

From there, it was easy for me to visualize a completely organized schedule full of people who had said “yes,” and a projected level of income of my choice based upon how hard I wanted to work, and the number of hours I was willing to commit to being at the office. It all sounded so perfectly logical, and it all fits quite well with my left brain driven in the world view of dentistry.

But things didn’t work out that way very often. And since that time, I’ve have spoken and consulted with literally hundreds of dentists who’ve experienced similar frustrations. Many of them told me that they eventually gave up on their effort to try and practice comprehensive dentistry. Others took their practice to near bankruptcy via their determination.

You see, most of us missed Dr. Pankey’s message the first time we heard it, or even after the next two or three times.

We failed to recognize that the concept of complete care also hinged on how each patient felt, what they wanted for themselves, and what the solution would mean to them on an emotional level.

It was only after this difficult realization that things began to improve for me and my practice. The work of Carl Rogers, Bob Barkley, Lynn Carlisle, Avrom King, Sandy Roth, Mary Osborne, and many others, helped me to make some critical adjustments regarding how I was communicating with my patients–and perhaps even more critically– when.

Patient-centered dentistry is just that, patient-centered, not treatment centered.

This means we must first come to appreciate each person without imposing our beliefs and expectations upon them. This is a process that involves feelings first (their feelings not ours) before cognition–and before the discussion of any solutions. We must first be able to grasp the contextual meaning of the dentistry in each person’s life, and by so doing, better appreciate their perspective.

When we become better at doing this, we’ll feel that our knowledge has finally reached our hearts and the hearts of our patients as well. And it’s only at that moment that things will start to become easier and our patient’s behavior more predictable. It’s only at that moment that the “yes” to comprehensive dentistry will happen on a regular basis. 

A patient’s feeling of comfort and trust is increased when you demonstrate you appreciate your team.

Showing appreciation to your team in front of patients demonstrates you respect the people who support you in serving patients. This only raises their opinion of your quality of care.

• When patients witness you calmly moving through moments of stress with instructions to your team delivered in a calm tone, a smile, and thanks, it speaks volumes to patients who are eager to have confidence in their care.
• When you spend time informing team members well and empowering them with knowledge of “the why” of your diagnoses and treatment plans, they naturally and appropriately prepare patients for your case presentation, answer questions, and encourage patients to move forward. Expressed gratitude for this support is a positive affirmation that creates growing team confidence, competence and job satisfaction. And this fosters a happy work environment and employee retention. Patients are highly attuned to team happiness and are relaxed among your loyal team members they have come to know. Again, this increases trust.
• A team’s feeling of appreciation will be undermined, and individuals easily become stressed when they are chronically overworked or asked to perform tasks they are not well prepared to do. Be alert to lead them through stress with assurances and demonstration that you care enough to take measures that will restore work balance and comfort.

There are multiple situational stresses that occur every day in your practice that produce the flow of stress hormones, 112 of them to be exact. And when there are stress hormones building up in the bloodstream, the physiological and psychological consequences are noticeable to patients. Fortunately, PankeyGram readers and participants in Pankey Institute courses and study clubs receive a constant flow of fine examples of colleagues showing appreciation for their teams. Showing gratitude doesn’t always have to be done in a big way or at great expense. A positive spoken affirmation in any given moment is going to release some oxytocin. And that’s what we want!

It’s early in the morning and the first sip of coffee full of that fresh aroma just went down with a sigh, a sagging of the shoulders and a feeling of here we go for another day. My mind is starting to run the list of what is on the day’s agenda…work deadlines and meetings…the kids’ schedules…what is my spouse doing today? Did I pay that electric bill or not? Then it hits. Oh, that’s right! I have a dental appointment today!

The morning life puzzle pieces all start to come together as they always do.

Everyone and everything are in their place. And off I go to the dentist with that fearful thought, “I hope they don’t hurt me today.” Parking in a rush and taking a breath before entering the dental office door, I worry, “Am I just in time?” A gentle face looks up, smiles and greets me by name. With that kind hello, I begin to relax and mentally whisper to myself, “I’m safe here. They know me. They want to take care of me. They’re happy to see me. I’ll be okay.”

The reality is this kind of personalized attention and care is slowly going away.

In medicine and dentistry, consolidation of practices into corporate entities has forced doctors to “run” on a patient-number schedule and production list. Statistics and numbers are slowly pulling their want and desire to give personalized care away from them. And I, the Patient, don’t want to be treated this way.

I’m glad my dentist takes time to know me and my concerns, spends time diagnosing and planning treatment that is individualized and best for me, and doesn’t let insurance companies limit my choices and the quality and quantity of care I receive. What’s important to me is I trust this type of dental care, I think I deserve this type of care—and the comfort I feel during my dental visits is priceless.

Three-quarters of human brain growth takes place in the first three years of life.

And that represents almost everything except the prefrontal cortex, which does not fully mature until around the age of twenty-five. This means that our ability to cognitively process…our ability to understand and respond appropriately to lower brain functioning, and particularly our emotional system, is quite limited early-on. Yet that is exactly when most of our beliefs about the world and how it works are formed and rarely challenged. So, when a person comes into the office claiming that “When I was a kid, the dentist put both feet on my chest to extract the tooth. It was horrible. I hate going to the dentist,” we are actually dealing with a belief and not a fact.

Responding to “When I was a kid…”

It is counterproductive to begin a new relationship with a person by telling them that they are wrong and don’t know what they are talking about. So, we have to begin someplace else, with the goal of facilitating a change in belief over time, and not with a goal of convincing others how much we know and that they should surrender to our intellectual prowess. Start with the understanding that we humans don’t like to be challenged as wrong. Also understand that we’d often rather be wrong than right, simply because it feels better to our ego.

It turns out that the only way beliefs change is through an inside-out process of self-reflection, re-assessment, new realizations, and new assumptions repeatedly confirmed by new experience. Before there is a commitment to action, your patient with negative beliefs about dentistry must go through this. And, I’ll bet you weren’t thinking all of that was going on in your patients’ brains, but it is…every single day. That is why relationship-based dentistry holds so much power and potential.

Truly helping relationships are the only vehicle through which significant personal change occurs in dentistry. L.D. Pankey said, “Know your patient,” not because you can use the knowledge strategically to defeat them on an intellectual level, but rather to help pave the way toward significant change and therefore better decision-making.

We can’t manipulate our patients toward becoming healthier.

In fact, the more we try to manipulate people, the more their lower brain recognizes something is wrong. It doesn’t know what, but at least it’s smart enough to stop listening, and focus on self-preservation—like staying away from people who will likely put “both feet on their chest.”

Trust is a central facet of human interaction, one that cannot be ignored in a dental or business setting. This blog reviews some interesting concepts on trust from Oxford professor Rachel Botsman: 

Trust: Known and Unknown

Botsman is a thought leader and significant contributor to the current conversation surrounding the role of trust in our personal and business relationships as well as our culture. She says that trust lives in the unique tension between our hopes and fears. It is about vulnerability and expectations.

Trust acts as the bridge between the known, where we are comfortable, and the unknown, where we are fearful. She defines trust as, “a confident relationship to the unknown.”

Similarly, when we enter into a relationship with a patient, there is a great deal unknown to them concerning their dental condition. They don’t necessarily sense what is required to establish good health, function, and esthetics.

A Relationship Strategy

According to Botsman, in developing our strategy of building high trust relationships, our goal should not be to build more trust. Our goal should be to become more trustworthy.

The established science of trustworthiness says that it requires high levels of competence, reliability, benevolence, and integrity in our life and practice to be present and experienced by others. Integrity, or aligning our intentions with our actions, is the most important.  

That same science says that real trust takes time and friction, at least some minimal friction, to establish. When a relationship is established seamlessly and instantly, there isn’t even the time and opportunity to ask the question: “Should I trust this person with something that is important to me?” That is the minimum amount of friction required.

Many organizations and a significant amount of behavioral research conclude that the strongest relationships are those that have experienced a problem and found a way to reconcile the issue. In other words, friction strengthened the relationship through solving the problem.

Have you listened to or read anything by Rachel Botsman? Join the conversation below … !

Throughout my dental hygiene, dental school, and residency programs, I was blessed to have exceptional instructors and role models. All of them encouraged me, believed in me, and most importantly, impressed upon me the importance of lifelong learning. Many of them recommended Pankey, telling me to go there as soon as I could.

A Journey to Deeper Patient Relationships

That journey began in 1994. I will never forget sitting in Dr. Irwin Becker’s philosophy class as he talked about the Crosses of Dentistry. He discussed “Knowing Your Patient” and I remember becoming very emotional.

As a young hygienist, it would bother me when I would see a re-care patient and not remember what we talked about the previous time. I started jotting things down on index cards about each patient and keeping them in a private file. Not the things you would typically see in chart notes, but personal things they felt comfortable sharing.

Each time they came in, I would refer to the personal card file and refresh my memory as to where we left off. There was no way I would have been able to remember all those special discussions, so I had to write them down. Each time they came in, the next chapter began.

I also started sharing more information about myself. I found the more I shared, the deeper the conversations went. I really wanted to know my patients on a much deeper level and that is what happened over time.  

When I came back to the Pankey Institute for the second continuum, I was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by name by Dr. Ernie Anderson, one of the course instructors, as I stepped into the elevator of the condos. Obviously, he had taken time to look at the roster to see who was in the class and that was very impactful. The kindness, thoughtfulness, and encouragement shown to me at the Institute were instrumental in demonstrating how I wanted to make my patients feel during my care.

Time spent getting to know my patients has resulted in lifelong relationships. Of all the things I’ve learned, this is one of the most important keys to a meaningful and enjoyable career.