By Paul A. Henny, DDS 

The Case for Setting Boundaries 

When we are financially or emotionally dependent on patients saying “yes,” we crave acceptance which comes at cost: we are fearful of offending the person if we say, suggest, or do something that might trigger a “no,”—so we strategically modify our behavior to avoid rejection. 

On the other hand, independence allows us to adopt a course of action—a purpose that’s clearly justified in our mind, and accepting of the fact that some people might disagree and therefore their opinions will not influence how we feel about ourselves. So, independence involves respecting how others feel AND how we feel—a critical issue that’s known as psychological boundary. 

What’s Our Goal? 

Our goal should be to help others as much as possible—but not to manipulate them into making decisions or taking actions they would otherwise not make. If we feel like we cannot help someone, or if we believe helping a person in the way they are demanding is harmful long-term, then we simply need to find a way to respectfully agree-to-disagree, and move on. No need for moralistic stands. No need for judgment. We just need to continue our search for others who are in closer alignment with our purpose. 

As we become masterful at the execution of our purpose, we become known for it —we become “branded.” Once branded, more like-minded people can find us in the sea of other options and then make a higher level decision than “he/she is in my network.”  

Start with Personal Leadership 

Relationship-based, health-centered dentistry therefore starts with personal leadership and personal power. Who am I? What am I willing to stand for? What am I willing to share with the world? What am I unabashedly willing to promote because I believe in its value so deeply that I simply must promote it. And critically, HOW can I best promote it so that more people will be able to make better decisions for themselves that are more in alignment with our purpose, and that move them closer to an optimized health? 

“Know Thyself,” the ancient Greek appeal to greater self-awareness, is one of the four principles incorporated into L. D. Pankey’s “Cross of Dentistry.” But following this sage advice isn’t easy, as we’re pulled and pushed around by the environment; we’re constantly challenged to either adapt, resist, surrender or lead. 

Being Authentic Requires Regular Introspection 

Leading is only possible in patient-centered dentistry through authenticity—through clarified values aligned with a congruent vision and ACTION. Hence, without self-awareness, the seductions of life—the temptation to take shortcuts, and the trappings of materialism, can easily lead us away from our authentic self. What makes this process even more challenging is that when we feel threatened or rejected, we tend to do more of those things while blocking out how we truly feel. We lose ourselves in our pursuit of things that we think will sooth our anxiety.  

Gaining greater self-awareness through regular introspection is the starting point of a process that essentially never ends, but it represents the only pathway toward authentic leadership. Authentic leadership is an inside-out process that’s at the very core of patient-centered dentistry, which is why Dr. Pankey inscribed “happiness” as the outcome of his developmental philosophy. 

By Paul A. Henny, DDS 

The word “prescriptive” recently got stuck in my head. It made me think about the important distinction between a relationship that’s primarily focused around “giving directions or injunctions” versus mutually goal-oriented and collaborative. It’s all too easy in the middle of a busy day to reduce our patients’ complex problems down to prescriptive responses so we can move on to the next problem or obligation on our schedule.  

The reality of dentistry was brilliantly stated long ago by Bob Barkley, “Our goal is to design dentistry that will fail at the slowest possible rate.” This humble statement should always sit at the center of our practice philosophy: We aren’t gods; hence we aren’t perfect, and we can’t control the future. The best we can do is learn, practice, and do our best with the best of intentions. The rest will be up to the patient and fate.  

If our patients choose to not assertively take charge of their oral microbiome through appropriate oral hygiene and diet management, then all of our skills and good intentions will be undercut, and the failures sometimes blame-shifted onto us. That thought brings me around to the central reason behind why I’m writing today: We can’t be successful unless we are also good teachers and leaders. We have to want our patients to be successful on a very deep level. 

Last year my daughter Allison graduated at the top of her high school class, and it was easy to think “Wow! Look at what she did!” Yet it wasn’t just her efforts that made it happen, so the thought should be “Wow! Look at what WE did!” as the effort was communal and very philosophically-driven. It’s clear that Allison’s Principal and teachers LOVED her enough to invest a significant part of themselves in her development. You could feel it, see it, and hear it in their words. 

Are we similarly invested in our patients success? Are we doing a whole lot more than just being prescriptive? Are we investing a significant part of ourselves in our patients’ lives because we want to see them succeed? Can they feel it, see it, and hear it?  

By Paul A. Henny, DDS 

Effective leadership in dentistry requires open-mindedness and empathy, while at the same time, assertiveness, consistency, adaptableness, and resilience.  

That’s a tall order! 

Many of us struggle to be assertive and empathetic at the same time, particularly when we are under pressure. All too often, we lean into our positional power and superior knowledge and don’t stop to ask ourselves: 

• How does the patient feel about my message? 

• Does the patient understand the long-term implications of the information I have presented? 

It’s important to remind ourselves that decision-making is a two-step process: 

Step 1: The recognition of accurate, relevant, timely, and important new information 

Step 2: Reasoning to make choices that align with values and goals 

Few people fully understand the nature of their problems, needs, and the complex processes necessary to realize their goals when they first come into our dental offices. Patients often behave dogmatically or too emotionally, which leads them to choices that result in more failure and frustration. 

Our ability to facilitate learning in others and lead them to decisions with predictably better outcomes can be developed. This is good news! With understanding, practice, and reinforcement through successful experiences, we can all learn how to become more effective leaders and develop a more successful practice. 

The 6 Key Steps to Effectively Guiding Our Patients 

1. Slow down and manage your time more strategically to spend more time with each patient.
2. Demonstrate empathy. Stay in conversation and ask questions to understand what they know and how they feel about the information you are giving them. 
3. Create a safe and effective environment for learning. This entails slowing down your delivery of information into the bite sizes that are appropriate for the patient and pausing often for their minds to catch up and for them to experience self-discoveries.  
4. Show deference for the fact that each person is the best expert regarding themselves, their feelings, values, and goals. Let them know you will support them in their process and invite them to learn more and weigh their new knowledge against their values, priorities, and long-term goals.
5. Give each person enough time to make complex decisions as well as work through the logistics necessary to make their decisions fit into their life.
6. 6. Remain clear and assertive about what is in the patient’s best health interests and consistent with your values. Only proceed with treatment decisions that are mutually agreed upon as appropriate.

By Paul A. Henny, DDS 

Coping with Stress and Trauma 

If you hang around me long enough, the conversation will eventually turn toward the amazing work of Gabor Maté, MD. Maté is a Canadian of Hungarian decent. He is also Jewish, and barely survived the Nazi invasion of Budapest. He has spent his life studying the effects of trauma on the body, both physical and emotional, and he has authored several books. WHEN A BODY SAYS NO is a favorite of mine. 

All of Maté’s work has a common theme: how we individually cope with stress, and when it’s severe enough, trauma. He also advances the bold theory that most of our diseases and dysfunctions today are self-inflicted, even cancer and autoimmune disorders. They are self-Inflicted in the sense that our body does it to itself in its dysfunctional attempt to cope with chronic stress.  

Maté maintains that chronic stress, particularly in a young child, causes the child to dial back their sensitivity to the environment, to stop paying close attention, because it is or might be too painful. 

If you can follow this line of thought, then you will be led to better understand Mate’s theory regarding the common mental dysfunction ADHD, and even some of the milder forms of autism. Maté states that a stressed mother releases stress hormones into the placenta, and when chronically present, these can negatively influence brain development resulting in autism in some cases.* 

Note: Stress can also originate externally from toxins in the environment and food, and from working and living in toxic cultures. 

Today’s Toxic Culture and It’s Impact on Dental Practice 

Those of you who have heard me speak, have heard me say this before. We live in a very toxic culture today. We all try to cope with too much information, too many decisions, and too many stressful issues lingering in the back of our mind left unresolved. And the outcome is similar: we tend to dial back on our sensitivity to the environment. 

Consequently: 

• We start to think of others as being problems to be resolved instead of people. 

• We stop sensing other people’s feelings. 

• We stop paying attention to our gut and intuition. 

• We start blaming instead of understanding. 

• We start manipulating instead of listening. 

Combine all of these together, it isn’t hard to imagine the daily functioning of the average dental practice: 

• Detached 

• Unauthentic 

• Reductionistic 

• Money-centric 

• High stress 

Hence, lots of personal dissatisfaction occurs among staff and patients. 

Getting Back to Whole-Self, Whole-Person Dentistry 

Whole-person dentistry takes into consideration the whole person physically and emotionally. It requires us to be sensitive to our patients feelings, expectations, and experiences. It also requires us to be sensitive to our own feelings, because without them, we can’t sense others and the world around us accurately.  

Without sensitivity, we work through the day like an autistic child in a bubble, and then wonder why our patients don’t listen to us or take our advice. Thus, the road to true person-centered care must first run through us. And that needs to be a life-long pursuit —the process of getting back in touch with who we truly are inside and how we feel. THAT is what L. D. Pankey was trying to tell us when he said, “Know Yourself.” 

By Paul A. Henny, DDS 

How are you doing in your quest for a “positive” life? 

Martin Seligman PhD spent most of his career at the University of Pennsylvania advancing the concept known today as “Positive Psychology.” He states that Positive Psychology is “the scientific study of what makes life most worth living.” Along the way, Martin identified five core elements highly associated with psychological well-being and happiness. He believes understanding these five elements helps us to create more fulfillment, happiness, and meaning in our life. 

In Part 2 of this two-part series, we’ll pick up where I left off with the third core element in Seligman’s model. 

R – Relationships 

Relationships and social connections are essential for the creation of meaningful lives. Human beings have been social animals since the earliest of times, hence we are hard-wired to bond and depend on each other. That worked particularly well when we functioned in small social units or “tribes.” The tribal unit allowed us to easily ascertain who was friend or foe. It also allowed us to know who to pay attention to, ignore, and with whom we should invest our time and energy. 

In our modern-day world, the historical notion of tribes has largely been broken and replaced by sub-sects of people who are clustered together around common interests, agendas, and values, brought together in new and different ways. Social media now connects people from around the world in ways we never could have imagined 20 years ago. So, this has created a situation where we don’t know our neighbors, but we do know intimate details about our friends in Australia, Tampa, and Kansas City. 

Since we are less tribal in the historical sense, we have lost our ability to easily trust those who are around us, as we can no longer assume they share our values and priorities. That is WHY the relationship-based practice model is so valuable today.  

The relationship-based practice model is a vehicle of connection that can be used to co-discover our similarities as well as areas of disagreement. Alignment of values, goals, perspectives, and efforts are key to successfully advancing health. Strong interpersonal relationships are the key to the door which opens up all of those possibilities. 

M – Meaning 

Some people work to live, while others live to work, with the latter meaning that a person has been successful at merging their life purpose with their daily work. And when work becomes meaningful on a deeply personal level, it evolves into becoming much more than just a “job.” 

With the ever-expanding discovery of connections between oral health and whole health, dentistry now stands at the forefront of a huge new opportunity – the opportunity to help others to grow, develop, and maintain whole health over their entire life  

A – Accomplishments 

Living a values-driven, purposeful life, integrated with how we practice, aligns ourselves with the achievement of deeply meaningful accomplishments on a daily basis. Helping others in deeply meaningful ways, and then being rewarded with appreciation and appropriate compensation, establishes a self-sustaining cycle, and a successful model for living.  

That’s why you will commonly see relationship-based dentists practicing into their 70’s. Their sense of purpose as they continue to accomplish meaningful work is what motivates them to return to the office and continue striving to help patients, coach younger dentists, and create an-ever-happier positive environment. 

An Easy Acronym to Remember: PERMA 

A great to start your day might be to remember what each letter of PERMA stands for: 

• Positive Emotion 

• Engagement 

• Relationships 

• Meaning 

• Accomplishments 

How will these five elements of Seligman’s model fit into your quest for a sense of wellness and happiness today? How will these fit into your quest to serve and help others? 

By Paul A. Henny, DDS 

Martin Seligman PhD spent most of his career at the University of Pennsylvania advancing the concept known today as “Positive Psychology.” He states that Positive Psychology is “the scientific study of what makes life most worth living.” Along the way, Martin identified five core elements highly associated with psychological well-being and happiness. He believes understanding these five elements helps us to create more fulfillment, happiness, and meaning in our life. 

One of our Pankey colleagues, Barry F. Polansky, DDS, spent a lot of time and energy studying Seligman’s work. In his last decade in practice, Polansky turned his attention to writing books to help new dentists find wellness and happiness in dentistry. Polansky’s 2017 book The Complete Dentist: Positive Leadership and Communication Skills for Success is an excellent guide to starting and running an effective and meaningful dental practice. 

In this two-part series, we’ll take a look at Seligman’s positive psychology model in relation to how we feel about our work in dentistry. 

Seligman’s Five Core Elements: 

P – Positive Emotion 

This represents a “glass-is-half-full” perspective toward life, commonly called an “abundance” perspective. This positive world view is critical because it has a heavy influence on how the brain functions. Our brain is a memory-driven cybernetic solution-seeking organ, with a primary purpose of creating and supporting a successful life. When our mind is in a positive orientation towards our environment, we are typically in a very observant and creative mode of living. In this mode, we constantly scan our environment for relevant bits of information and experiences that are potentially useful in the advancement of our desires.  

When our desires are positive and life-affirming, we are co-creating our experience: We see and experience to a large degree what we expect to see and feel. That is why having a clarified positive vision and purpose for our life and practice is essential for well-being. 

E – Engagement 

L.D. Pankey famously said, “Know Yourself.” What interests us most? What worries us most? In what circumstances are we most comfortable? Under what conditions are we most productive? What are our personal strengths? What are our habits? What are our triggers? What do we aspire to do? What about ourselves would we like to change? 

We all direct most our attention toward the things that interest us or we fear. And it is what we pay the most attention to, whether at work or elsewhere, that we develop the most while engagement with things of lesser importance wither away. It’s healthy to go into ever deeper relationship with the things we value. Clarifying what we believe we are good at and what we will enjoy is a key first step to successful practice development. 

Defining our values is essential so we know when to keep “first things first,” as Stephen Covey likes to say. 

Mac McDonald is a Visiting Faculty member at Pankey, his 2017 book Unchanging Points of Light: Finding Your Way in the Dark is an example of the positive power of values clarification. 

My discussion of Seligman’s five core elements will be continued in Part 2. 

By Paul A. Henny, DDS, and Deborah E. Bush, MA 

The traditional rational economic model used in classical decision-making theory routinely fails to predict patient behavior because it fails to consider the psychology of decision-making and the inductive neuro process necessary to change one’s mind about what is best for oneself. 

Classic Decision Theory 

Classic Decision Theory (CDT) models a decision-making process that involves a fixed set of alternatives about which a person knows little. In response, they relate their limited knowledge to the situation at hand, use their beliefs and expectations associated with the options to project an outcome, and then use logic to make the final decision based on their goals. 

According to this theory, people primarily make decisions based on their desire to maximize gains and minimize losses, an objective. This deductive process is largely driven by a heuristic known as “scarcity bias.” However, anyone who has practiced dentistry for more than a day outside of a teaching institution knows that CDT fails to explain many of the decisions patients make when they’re confronted with a complex problem they don’t fully understand.  

Simple decisions such as “Should I get this filling replaced because it’s broken?” or “Should I allow Dr. Smith to help me make this tooth stop hurting?” are predictable. What’s much less predictable is whether a person will allow us to equilibrate their occlusion or leverage restorative dentistry to reestablish proper form, function, esthetics, and neuromuscular modulation. Why? Because these are complex issues that require an understanding of how the stomatognathic system works before the proposed solution makes sense and appears to be the logical best option to the patient. 

Neuroeconomics is an interdisciplinary field that aims to explain human decision-making. By integrating psychology and neuroscience, this discipline can help us better understand how humans process alternatives to make choices and follow through on a plan of action. Neuroscience affirms that re-evaluating perspectives is a right-brain activity and an inductive process. 

The Dentist’s Challenge  

In practice, we often see patients making decisions we think are unwise for their long-term oral health. A person’s values and belief system influence their decisions. Not only may the person’s understanding and belief system be underdeveloped in relation to the value of properly planned, designed, and executed health-centered restorative dentistry, but their memories may be distorted. In this case, the person makes what we perceive to be unwise decisions because their memories do not align well with our understanding of the situation. They don’t know what we know.  

Helping Patients Think and Feel Differently Through Inductive Reasoning 

Reassessment, modification, or outright replacement of beliefs is a right-brain process known as inductive reasoning. The purpose of Co-Discovery is to take the patient through an inductive reasoning process. Oral health providers who understand how and why Co-Discovery works have experienced how it can change the trajectory of a person’s decision-making process. 

Our challenge is to create an optimal learning environment in which people can safely reevaluate their beliefs, values, and priorities. Being patient with patients and taking our time to guide them through the inductive process of Co-Discovery will comfortably provoke new thinking, new beliefs, and new emotions. Through the process, a great many patients come to realize that their historical perspective is not serving them well, and they decide to have that equilibration or restorative dentistry that will serve them best in the long-term.  

They may not choose treatment the first time it is recommended but will subsequently realize it is in their best interest. We just have to stay in conversation with them in Co-Discovery mode and guide them through the inductive process to arrive at their new goals.  

Long-term, this is healthier for dentists and their care teams as well. The conversations we have with patients change the trajectory of our dental practices. Better conversations result in better decisions, which in turn result in better outcomes. Better outcomes result in lower stress and a thriving practice that is much more fulfilling for dentists and care team members.   

By Paul A. Henny, DDS 

In Part 1, we looked at personal boundaries in dental practice. I mentioned scarcity bias and how it is prevalent in undifferentiated dental practices but not so much in dental practices where providers and patients mutually share the values and agenda of the practice. Because scarcity bias is so human, so ingrained in us, I want to discuss two things in Part 2: healthy relationships and also how to address scarcity bias as it occurs in our differentiated dental practices. 

Insight Into Our Boundaries Leads to Healthy Relationships 

Healthy interdependent relationships are only possible through first understanding our personal boundaries (Who am I? What am I responsible for? What am I not responsible for?). That’s critical because psychologically speaking, boundaries are like fence lines with consciously regulated gates.  

The aphorism “Good fences make for good neighbors” prevails.  The same logic applies to the practice of dentistry and the nature of the relationships that we create—consciously or not, within it.  

And Now, We Circle Back to Differentiation  

Healthy interpersonal boundaries lead us toward more interpersonal authenticity, which leads us toward higher-quality communication of our values and purpose. Higher quality communication leads to a more sophisticated level of collaboration and healthy results, including healthy interdependent relationships, self-reflection, self-responsibility, improved oral and total body health, improved mental health, and a constantly growing reputation for your values. That’s differentiation. That’s personal authenticity. That’s success. 

Addressing Scarcity Bias 

Once we understand ourselves well and we communicate consistently with personal authenticity, we still have the challenge of “knee-jerk” scarcity bias in our patients. This is where patience comes in and empathy—understanding and recognizing their feelings. 

People are biased toward the here and now. The mind is naturally focused on meeting immediate needs at the expense of future ones. We procrastinate important things such as dental treatment unless we have an urgent need for it. We fail to make investments, even when the future benefits are significant or the costs of not doing so are substantial. 

When the dentist and patient participate equally in a co-discovery examination process and co-discovery consultations to discuss health history and current findings, and the patient is empowered and becomes comfortable mentioning everything on their mind, we have already begun the powerful process of leading each other through understanding what is happening in the body and what is happening in the mind (feelings and thoughts). We can start to talk about what the patient would like to achieve long term—the patient’s beyond-the-moment oral health goals. We can start to talk about what is possible to achieve together and introduce the notion that we can take steps at the speed that is mutually comfortable for us. 

Inspiration to do “the work” is often planted with just a few words that create a future desirable image in the patient’s mind. If we have the patience to let the inspiration grow, without overwhelming the patient, scarcity bias can dissipate. Often patients come back to the conversation the next time they visit us and say, “I was thinking about what we talked about, and I think I am ready to…”  

Negotiating health goals between two adults starts as an invitation to agree upon common goals. We can start early in the doctor-patient and hygienist-patient relationships by instilling the thought that preventive health care is a partnership. They can’t do it alone and you can’t do it for them. Everyone must play their part responsibly. 

By Paul A. Henny, DDS 

Today, I am revisiting the value of personal authenticity and its transformational power within truly helping relationships. We know can’t evolve into becoming more authentic with our patients until we first “know ourselves,” which is another way of saying “until we’ve developed a lot of personal insight.” 

Personal insight is the beginning point of understanding what tends to drive our behavior and thinking, therefore, it’s the beginning point of change. But there’s another key variable in the facilitation-of-change process that’s often overlooked: What is the level of personal insight within the person we are attempting to help?  

What happens when we and our patients share similar values? 

We’ve all had experiences with patients with whom we easily and almost automatically connect. The conversations flow smoothly, and there’s a lot of agreement regarding what needs to be addressed, how and when. It happens because these folks share similar values and priorities, and likely, they’ve had some personal experiences that strongly support those beliefs. 

But let’s be honest. Those moments are rare for most dentists who have undifferentiated practices. 

What happens in undifferentiated dental practices? 

When I use the adjective “undifferentiated,” I mean the practice has a lot of patients who come for reasons other than shared values, agendas, and purpose. A patient’s dental insurance is a prime reason patients go to a particular dentist. Nearly free new patient exams and limited x-rays offered by many dentists is another reason. Being accessible for emergency dentistry in the patient’s local neighborhood is yet another. 

PPOs are likely the most common reason a patient sticks with an undifferentiated dentist. Patients with “insurance” don’t really have insurance. They have a minimal and limiting benefit plan disguised AS IF it were insurance. Consequently, misconceptions occur due to the intentionally confusing language. 

Additionally, insurance causes people to naturally focus more on their benefits (a reductionistic concept) than on their health (a holistic concept). So, in a very twisted and often dysfunctional way, dental insurance can cause people to make bad decisions that negatively influence their health as they psychologically prioritize money over their health.  

The Scarcity Bias 

The human brain has a bias toward scarcity thinking unless it’s actively circumvented through more right-side prefrontal cortex involvement. This scarcity bias occurs as most dental patients make treatment choices, and when this happens, we have a choice. 

1. We can play along and rationalize it. “It is what it is.” We can take the checks and focus on economy-of-scale strategies and production. 

1. We can actively work to remove insurance carrier influence from the patient decision-making process while facilitating greater patient involvement and problem ownership. 

Put another way: We either accept the codependency relationships (and all the anger, confusion, disappointment, and frustration that it brings along with the insurance benefits), or we actively work at creating interdependent relationships with patients, wherein they become the co-creators of their health future and share responsibilities associated with that goal. 

The Violation of Personal Boundaries 

When we actively participate in dependency-centric relationships, we violate interpersonal boundaries.  

On this, Avrom King brilliantly commented, “Dependency is the word we use to identify an individual who, for whatever reason, cannot claim and develop their latent personal power; instead, they negotiate psychological contracts with other people whose ego needs are served by accepting responsibility for the dependent person’s outcomes.” 

The minute we start to take responsibility for other people’s responsibilities, we begin a journey down a road that commonly leads to dysfunction, conflict, and frustration. 

Heath-centered dentistry is only possible through interdependent relationships, which means that ALL codependent relationships aren’t health-centered. They are centered on other things that are often associated with insecurity.  

To be continued in Part 2… 

Paul Henny DDS

I wrote about this topic last October in The Never-Ending Interview and wanted to revisit it to connect the timeless teachings with my most recent thoughts. Bear with me as I recount some of the history from that previous article. 

Dr. F. Harold Wirth had a very successful restorative practice in downtown New Orleans but he always felt that something was missing until he met Dr. L.D. Pankey and was influenced by his teachings. Dr. Wirth became a missionary for Dr. Pankey’s philosophy of dentistry and life, and he gave Dr. Pankey most of the credit for developing a deeper understanding of people, both physically and emotionally.  

One of Dr. Wirth’s key messages from the podium was that dentists are always presenting the case, even from the beginning of their first encounter with the patient. Another key message was that the patient’s feelings matter in accepting care and the patient interview should be forever ongoing. 

He said, “Every time the patient comes in, you’re doing a presentation. As a matter of fact, I think the interview is forever ongoing. It might only be one word, but every time the patient comes into your office, you should be interviewing them.” 

He said, “Ask questions that have to do with how the person feels. A case history is exploring what happened. An interview is about how they feel! You need to understand the difference!” 

We might ask, “Since I last saw you, have you noticed any changes in your oral health? How do you feel about these changes?” We might ask, “How do you feel about the appearance of your teeth?” or “How do you feel about the restorations we did?” We might ask, “At your last visit, you talked about the possibility of doing ortho; how do you feel about that now?” We might ask, “You mentioned last visit that you weren’t looking forward to Thanksgiving because it was difficult to eat all your favorite foods. Would you feel good about revisiting the possibility of replacing your denture with something more stable?”  

Do you feel better after a long conversation with someone who knows you well on the emotional level? I know I do. Over time, those kinds of conversations cause us to feel more positive and hopeful. They occur when a person gifts us their full attention while making no attempt to judge. And because we experience no judgment, we share more feelings, which leads us into an even deeper level of self-understanding. 

Doctor-patient conversations that tap into how a patient is feeling on an emotional level enable patients to grow in trust and to become more open to the possibilities we offer.  

In her recent blog series, Mary Osborne has encouraged us to journey toward health with our patients as fellow travelers because we all have health issues we hope to resolve. We can make connections over shared feelings and hopes. These connections bond us so we can pursue a mutual, positive goal with our patient.  

What I love and sticks with me from Mary’s blog is that the medical health review during each preclinical interview is an ideal time to check-in about feelings regarding health in general. So, if you and your team are not doing that now, you might want to add a question about the patient’s feelings about their current health. It’s ideal if the doctor or hygienist  asks the question. It may be as simple as “How do you feel about your overall health?” Wait for the patient to think and speak.  

One of my favorite quotes is this: 

Any kind of gesture that pulls another living soul out of despair is indistinguishable from magic. – Michael Xavier, Author 

The medical history review is a prime opportunity to demonstrate we care. Expanding our preclinical interview to routinely ask one or more questions that surface feelings related to health will give us opportunities to touch hearts on a deeper level. This will engender greater trust so patients more readily accept us as partners in their health.